Self Control

It is our nature to want to do what we want to do. We are on a quest to find those things that bring us the most pleasure. But what starts out as a simple quest for pleasure ends up overtaking us and the desire or craving overcomes us physically and or emotionally. Look at a child when they want something. They generally throw a fit and go to whatever extremes necessary to get what they desire. If children are never taught self-control and the concept that hard work produces results, they won’t learn how to channel their gifts and talents that will bring fulfillment to their lives. It’s kind of like lightning. It discharges about 1-10 billion joules of energy and produces a current of some 30,000 - 50,000 amps; it’s three times hotter than the surface of the sun (6000 degrees Celsius). This energy is completely unharnessed, lost in space with no way to capture its strength. Everyone sees its power and admires its beauty, but then it’s gone.

Over the years I have known people with unbelievable talent, brilliant minds and potential who have lived a life of depression; many have been alcoholics or have turned to drugs. They were likely not taught to be disciplined as a child. They never learned to develop self-control and harness their potential to bring out what’s inside, and fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. An article in the November 2009 “Science Daily” says, “For years, the brain chemical dopamine has been thought of as the brain's "pleasure chemical," sending signals between brain cells in a way that rewards a person for one activity or another. More recently, research has shown that certain drugs like cocaine and heroin amplify this effect -- an action that may lie at the heart of drug addictions.”

In many cases, this tragically becomes a lifestyle and people build their entire lives to accommodate their lust. In the past lust has been associated only with sexual desire, but this is only a part of the true interpretation. The bible puts it like this in 1John 2:16: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” I think it is interesting to note that the bible says “all that is in the world.” This means that the foundation of all worldly philosophies and wisdoms are these three things.

The “lust of the flesh” means the desire to indulge. Think about this, sexual lust is definitely included but so is every other physical indulgence that drives us – out of control eating, drinking, drugs, lacking moral restraint and being recklessly wasteful. It’s like an unharnessed free-for-all. It is our flesh saying, “More, more, more - feed me more!” When we have to have what we desire regardless of the consequences, then we are overtaken by lust. When we take a risk that could cause us to lose our personal integrity (with oneself and/or with others), then we are overtaken by lust.

“The lust of the eyes” is a different kind of lust; it is the desire to possess. It’s the “I see it so I must have it” state of mind. I think that we have it in our minds that success is measured by the possessions we have. We are overcome entirely by the desire or craving to have certain things. In some cases this is about power, the more we get the more we want. In other ways it is about lifestyle, we think we need the nicest cars, the nicest toys, the nicest clothes. We are convinced that “stuff” will bring us the fulfillment in life we are looking for, so we need more – let’s go shopping!

The sad reality is that in many cases the people that have the appearance of wealth really are strapped financially and are trapped, overcome entirely by the desire or craving to have certain things. And if they can’t go out and get those things then they may become depressed or angry. In many cases this is an attempt to manipulate their environment to get what they want.

This leads us to “the pride of life.” This is the desire to impress. This so often is why we do what we do; we want to impress others. This starts very young. Even in early childhood, children form social cliques, which can be instrumental (for better or worse) in contributing to a child’s self-worth and behavior. In addition, children may feel inferior if they are not able to live up to a parent’s or sibling’s expectations. There are countless factors that exacerbate the pain that compels us to impress others. As we grow older this becomes a driving force as we strive to live up to the standard that we perceive will bring us the status we are hoping for.

The interesting thing is that these three things are interconnected. The lust of the flesh could be driven by a frustration that comes from the desire to impress (the pride of life). For example: someone begins to drink or do drugs because s/he can’t keep up financially with a lifestyle of impressing others. Or the pressure is so intense that there is a need to do something that will bring a little (perceived) pleasure in the midst of the pain. Jesus said (paraphrased), “the lamp of the body is the eye, if the eye is tainted it affects the whole body.” (Matthew 6:22-23) The point is that if we are not looking at the reality that is before us clearly and honestly then it affects every decision that we make. It causes us to live a substandard existence, not experiencing the joy and fulfillment that God intends us to have.

This lifestyle has become the norm in the cultures of the world. This is why the governments that exist are crippled with tradition and pompous greed while their countries are starving and overcome with drugs, violent crime and sexual perversions. No one has the ability to solve the problem because, to one extreme or another, they are all gripped with these three lusts in their own lives. If our lives are selfish and self-centered then we cannot have true wisdom to solve someone else’s problems.

There is a way to be separated from the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life so that they are not the driving force behind our lives. This starts from the inside and it is a transformation that realigns our thinking and gets our eyes off of ourselves and our circumstances. The bible says that the beginning of wisdom is the reverence of God. To acknowledge Him and ask for His wisdom to guide us is the right beginning. He is our creator and He is the reason for our existence, so it makes sense to surrender to Him. This takes our attention off of ourselves and places it on the one who has the ability to solve our problems and give us the right attitude. It is simply to ask the right question and that question is “how can I serve you Lord, what is Your desire for my life?” The bible says to “ask and you will receive.” We just have to study the bible and surrender to the Holy Spirit and let Him show us what His will is for our lives. To do these things disarms the lusts that are the driving force behind us and it empowers us with self control.

I hope this helps in understanding the fundamental forces that are at work against us. I know this can be an excellent tool in understanding what drives the human mind. I hope you find it helpful.